Saturday, 21 March 2015

Lost And Found In Translation: Ui Ma Ui Ma Mar Gayi Re

"Mamma miya, this must be the end
My consent was inadvertent
Your eyes, your words
I blanched, my love, I was so frightened."

"Mamma mia -- this song and dance
Why did you love me in the first instance?"
"You are naughty, oh my boy
I'm feeling rather coy
You said, I did, didn't I?
And all limits we did transcend."

"You’re a love-fraud, I ain't kidding
It’s far from love, it’s plain cheating”
“Hand-on-heart, didn’t you consent
One day you’d make me content?
When time's here to deliver
Now you backtrack! Excellent!”

Mamma miya, this must be the end
Yes-no, and then no consent
My eyes, my words...
My love you got so frightened!"

Ui ma ui ma mar gayi re
Anjane me haan kar gayi re
Teri ankho se teri baton se
Sajan mai kitna darr gayi re

Ui ma uima karna tha
To pyar na mujhse karna tha
Shaitan bana tu aj piya
Mujhko ati hai laj piya
Jo tune kaha woh maine kiya
Ab hadd se baat gujar gayi re.

Tu ashiq number do ka hai
Yeh pyar nahi hai dhoka hain
Tu kehti thi dil bhar dungi
Ekdin tujhko khush kar dungi
Jab wade ka din aya to
Wade se saaf mukar gayi re.

Ui ma ui ma kar gayi re
Haan kar ke toh nah kar gayi re
Meri ankho se meri bato se
Sajni tu kitna darr gayi re

Sunday, 15 March 2015

To Rahul, With Love ~ Delhi Police

Oh dear Rahul, why make a fuss
Over simple questions and simple answers
What makes you weary?
We got simple query
Fair or dusky?
Baritone or husky?
How is your skin?
Patchy? Porcelain?
Eyes and their colour
Turquoise? azure?
The hair, kindly fill in
Silky, grey and thinning?
Once we get these right
We hit matrimonial site
Find a girl compatible,
So please don't quibble
No need to fret
Kindly co-operate ~ Thanks, Delhi Police

(Pix: AFP)

Friday, 13 March 2015

Lost And Found In Translation: Angna Me Baba Duare Pe Ma

"Dad's manning courtyard, and mom too guarding
How can I, oh beloved, at this hour drop in?"

"Dad's gone to field silly, mom's gone shopping
I'm alone at home, goddamn, just drop in."

"Suppose I drop in, what about food?"
"Will cook halwa and puri to boot,
"Out of my soft hand, you don't mind eating?"

"Halwa, puri make me drowsy, I may need siesta
"Don't sweat over that, I'll spread dupatta...
Have a lie-down and you'd feel topping...

"What if mom barges in, she'd eat me raw (3)
"I'll tell her ‘say hi to your son-in-law’
To ask for my hand, bugger, just drop in."

Angna mein baba duaare pe ma
Kaise aaye gori ham tohre ghar ma

Angna mein baba duaare pe ma
Kaise aaye gori ham tohre ghar ma

Khet gaye baba bazaar gayi maa
Akeli hu ghar maa tu aa ja balma

Ghar maan jo aaibe to hamein ka khilaibe
Garam garam halva aur poori pakaibe
Naram naram haathon se kha jaa baalma

Halwa poori khaive to nindiya sataibe
Sjiya mein tohare liye aanchal bichhaibe
Siiya ki kismat jaga ja balma

Kya hoga bazaar se maa jo aayi
Keh doongi maa ye hai tera jamaai
Haath mera maangne ko aa jaa baalma
(P.S. The new ‘Lost And Found In Translation’ series is an attempt to shame the committee which awards Nobel in literature until they shed their baffling snobbery and give the Bollywood devil his is due)